I am a yes person. If you ask me to do something, I will automatically answer yes. It goes something like this: Can you meet us at the park? YES! Do you want to double date this weekend? YES! Can you help this family in need? YES!!! And when I say it, I really mean it. I do want to meet you at the park, double date this weekend, and help the family in need. But hours or days later, when I am scrambling to meet you at the park after dropping off a casserole at someone else's house and yelling at my kids because we're going to be late, I always wish I'd put more thought into my decisions (or any thought at all).
So, in the hopes of living intentionally, I've made a list of non-negotiables for this fall. If I am ever going to have any chance of following a routine and experiencing peace in this home, I am going to have to decide what activities are necessary and which are not. My hope is that by making a short list of what I absolutely WILL NOT compromise on this fall, it will be easier to see which extra activities get in the way of my list. Without further ado, here are the hills that I am willing to die on:
1. Family Dinner. This is going to involve two things that are currently hard for me. One is grocery shopping, and the other is menu planning. I like doing both of these, but for some reason doing these activities with a big baby (meaning #5 or #4 depending on who is crying) has been too much this summer. Better dive back in with the quickness.
2. Family Devotion. Besides the fact that we believe it is our responsibility to teach our children about God and His ways, we also need some unity around here. Spending a lot of time together is so awesome, but sometimes it can contribute to a bit of finger pointing and bickering. And now the kids are doing it, too. So, I'm hoping for less looking at each other and more looking up to Him.
3. Naps for the Boys. #4 and #5 are still the kind of little that make you severely pay for not napping on a schedule. If we skip naps, #4 will remind me from time-out that I am the "wostest mommy evah" and he's pretty much right, because I have set him up for failure by not insisting he get the rest he needs. #5 can't talk yet, but if he could it would probably sound about the same. Every single thing in those sweet boys' lives goes more smoothly when they rest at the same time every day. And I don't have to be the wostest mommy evah.
4. Piano Practice and Homework for the Girls. This is a hard one for me. Homework is SO hard, for two reasons. Reason number one is that by 3:30 in the afternoon, my resolve is worn thin. When that happens, I get lazy and want to say YES to everything the kids ask me so we don't have to fight. The second and more deep-seated reason is that I wait all day for them to get home. I want to hear about their day, their friends, their thoughts. It feels like they have been gone forever, and the very last thing I want them to do is MORE school. I want them to run and jump on the trampoline and go on golf cart rides and look for bats and pretty much anything else besides more school work. BUT, this year we will insist on them doing homework every single day and being accountable, because the only thing I want them to have more than extra playtime is character. And being responsible even when it hurts develops character.
My plan is to die hard on these hills. We'll see how that really goes in our real life, but I feel like it's important to find the things that are a YES for me in order to make NO a little easier. The kids want to join teams? Not if practice interferes with family dinner and completing homework. Or maybe I'm tired and want to feed the kids on the floor in the family room. Not if it means we won't have family devotion. By putting these absolutes in place, hopefully I will have fewer decisions to make during the day and more mental space to devote to praising God for the day just as it is.
So, in the hopes of living intentionally, I've made a list of non-negotiables for this fall. If I am ever going to have any chance of following a routine and experiencing peace in this home, I am going to have to decide what activities are necessary and which are not. My hope is that by making a short list of what I absolutely WILL NOT compromise on this fall, it will be easier to see which extra activities get in the way of my list. Without further ado, here are the hills that I am willing to die on:
1. Family Dinner. This is going to involve two things that are currently hard for me. One is grocery shopping, and the other is menu planning. I like doing both of these, but for some reason doing these activities with a big baby (meaning #5 or #4 depending on who is crying) has been too much this summer. Better dive back in with the quickness.
2. Family Devotion. Besides the fact that we believe it is our responsibility to teach our children about God and His ways, we also need some unity around here. Spending a lot of time together is so awesome, but sometimes it can contribute to a bit of finger pointing and bickering. And now the kids are doing it, too. So, I'm hoping for less looking at each other and more looking up to Him.
3. Naps for the Boys. #4 and #5 are still the kind of little that make you severely pay for not napping on a schedule. If we skip naps, #4 will remind me from time-out that I am the "wostest mommy evah" and he's pretty much right, because I have set him up for failure by not insisting he get the rest he needs. #5 can't talk yet, but if he could it would probably sound about the same. Every single thing in those sweet boys' lives goes more smoothly when they rest at the same time every day. And I don't have to be the wostest mommy evah.
4. Piano Practice and Homework for the Girls. This is a hard one for me. Homework is SO hard, for two reasons. Reason number one is that by 3:30 in the afternoon, my resolve is worn thin. When that happens, I get lazy and want to say YES to everything the kids ask me so we don't have to fight. The second and more deep-seated reason is that I wait all day for them to get home. I want to hear about their day, their friends, their thoughts. It feels like they have been gone forever, and the very last thing I want them to do is MORE school. I want them to run and jump on the trampoline and go on golf cart rides and look for bats and pretty much anything else besides more school work. BUT, this year we will insist on them doing homework every single day and being accountable, because the only thing I want them to have more than extra playtime is character. And being responsible even when it hurts develops character.
My plan is to die hard on these hills. We'll see how that really goes in our real life, but I feel like it's important to find the things that are a YES for me in order to make NO a little easier. The kids want to join teams? Not if practice interferes with family dinner and completing homework. Or maybe I'm tired and want to feed the kids on the floor in the family room. Not if it means we won't have family devotion. By putting these absolutes in place, hopefully I will have fewer decisions to make during the day and more mental space to devote to praising God for the day just as it is.
These are four out of six of my people. I want them to grow into great people; I want them to be people of integrity, responsibility, and thoughtfulness. And as unrealistic as this may seem, I really want getting there to be as peaceful as possible. So, I plan to really commit to these few things. My friend, Katie Bulmer, wrote about this same thing the other day on her blog Imperfect People. Here is the link to her blog, so you can check it out for yourself: www.imperfectpeople.net. Katie is one of the most optimistic and God-centered women I know, so if she likes these ideas, I must be on to something. What are your musts for this fall? |